Drool

Must…not…eat…this.

*himatay*

It’s a No-Bake Strawberry Cream Pie. Click here for the recipe.

What is it with you men?

Labo nyo tsong.

Black sheep

I ended up skipping the orientation tonight.  I felt I needed to be with my family especially with Tita’s operation happening tomorrow afternoon.

I feel for my older cousin.  I’ve never seen him this vulnerable, this scared.  Usually, he has this tough guy attitude going but tonight I guess I saw something different.  Before scoring himself a scholarship to flight school, he was considered the black sheep of the family.  Even he acknowledges that but he has always let it be known that he couldn’t care less so long as he’s enjoying what he’s doing.

Anyway, tonight I saw him cry.  I haven’t seen him do that since high school.  And back then, it was because he got kicked out of his school in Manila and his parents had “banished” him to finish high school in Davao where he will be living with his Tito Bong (my dad), the “strict disciplinarian” KUNO.  Hehe my dad’s a PMAer and believe me, the ultraconservative, ultrastrict military dad reputation is seriously overrated.  My dad’s like an overgrown teddy bear.  Haha

But I digress.  This is a melancholy post and this is not the time for jokes.  Wehehe.

So there.  I just feel a bit lonely because I can see how much what is happening is affecting him.  I sense the guilt, the anger, the fear and the pain.  My cousin and I may not get along most of the time–I think he’s an ass, he thinks I’m a brat–but despite our differences, we’ve always been, hmmm, sorta close.  Well, we were REALLY close a few years back but lately, I dunno.  I guess I should make an effort too.

I know I’ve changed so much since I took the leap but it has also taken its toll on the time I spend with my family and my friends outside our circle as I’m out most of the time.  Like this week, I barely have time to take a breather.  But if there’s anything I learned from all this is that every moment is a moment of choice.  And I am where I am now because of the choices I have made.  So I suppose I chose to forget about family for a while, figuring they would always be there.  But it shouldn’t be like that.  It should be about balance.  Making everything, every relationship in my life work.

God, so emo.  Anyway, I’m off to bed.  Have another loooong day ahead. 

A packed week

To say I have a hectic schedule is an understatement.  I’m juggling two jobs at once, preparing for the leap 3rd and final intensive this weekend, and I’m writing a book.  A book I have to finish before Saturday morning.  Waaaah.  I’m starting to feel the pressure.  I remember earlier this morning, I was saying that I was busy but oddly enough I do not feel stressed.

I do not feel that way anymore.

I’m feeling the pressure.  BIG TIME!!! Waaah.  Okay I know I should just focus on NOW and everything will turn out fine.  So I will just enjoy a couple of minutes blogging about how stressed I am.  Yes I enjoy doing that.  WHO DOESN’T?!

Okay.  Deep breaths.  I will look at this as a challenge.  I wouldn’t have been given all these obstacles if I am not meant to overcome them.  Argh.

Pardon the self-talk.  Waaah. I have to do this unless I want to drive myself crazy by all the deadlines.

Okay.  I will list down everything I need to do.  Even if it’s just to make sure I don’t forget anything and I have my priorities straight. And in the process, I hope listing things down will help calm my nerves.

Tricia’s TO DOs for the last week of June:

1. Write/Edit the chapters of “Catch of the Day”
2. 1 blog entry for work
3. Submit short list of reviews for Culture/Entertainment Section on WEDNESDAY
4. Finish Staff Choice Picks section by Friday
5. 2 other articles done by Friday
6. Runway 36 Newsletter – coordinate with Marnie
7. TUESDAY – Leap 37 Orientation
8. WEDNESDAY – Acknowledgment Night for council
9. Leap Night

I feel drained. 

Welcome to the 60s!

Photos from Tita Au’s 60’s birthday bash at the Manila Hotel. It was so nice to see everyone glammed up for a change! Hahaha

Me, Pinky and Bea:

MJ, me, Bea, Jazy, Pinky and HRH Mimi Manalo!

Me, Pinks, Am and Bea

Mimi’s concubines! Wahaha

Leap Team 33

Me doing a twiggy pose! Wahaha career!

Had a lot of fun bonding again with the team that night. We’ve all gone a long way. Haha I’m in a sentimental mood lately. Might be because Leap 36 is ending this weekend. And then Leap 37 begins and I start this whole process all over again. Haha

Oddly enough, I don’t feel tired. I have a lot going on, yes, but I’m not really stressed. Then again, it’s only the beginning of the week. I have a PACKED schedule. As in TIGHT. Leap, Spice (the magazine), and my current job. AND my book. I’m finishing the final chapters. I have to finish it by Thursday night latest because it’s my goal for Leap. I WANT to finish it 100%. Dyahe if I don’t because I’m a coach. Haha I have issues about looking good. Wahaha

Small world

Today was a winner!  As in in every sense of the word.  Leap 36 completed a very important milestone that would determine their chances of becoming 100% as a team.  Now that that’s out of the way, they can focus on their personal and professional goals AND I really feel that they will really go all out!  I’m just so confident about it. Haha

I went on a date tonight.  With a writer this time.  It was a whole lot of fun.  Writers beat fake lawyers any time! Haha! I am, I think, still a wee bit bitter about fake lawyer. Haha

Anyway, we had dinner and it was funny because the moment he stepped into the restaurant I had a feeling that I already met him somewhere.  NO I am not so delusional as to say that I have met him already–once upon a dream.   Ngek.

The moment I say something like that, please give me a much needed kick in the ass.  Hahaha

As I was saying before I got rudely interrupted by the second voice in my head, the guy looked familiar.  And it wasn’t until we were talking about previous jobs that it hit me.  I met him when I was still in PR!  He said he had worked for a news publication briefly for six months (it was hell raw) and that he handled the lifestyle section as an assistant editor.  And then it dawned on me that this was the guy I often saw every time I did my rounds.  And then I told him that I handled Rockwell before and then he said, “You wrote about the Z-lofts!”

And then I said, yeah how did you remember? Was it bad??

He said, no it was okay.  It’s just that you tend to send it over and over again.   I got it quite a lot.  Same story.  Three different copies!

Hahaha.

I thought that was funny.

Ciao

This week will be known as “second-to-the-last” week. hehe

I had my second-to-the-last coaches meeting last Monday. Tonight I had my STTL (figure it out) council meeting and I’m feeling quite sentimental about it.

It seems I’ll be doing a lot of letting go in the coming weeks.

Next weekend I’m letting go of Leap 36–I’m trying to push that thought out of my mind at the moment. I’ve grown so attached to this team (probably because I’ve grown so much in the last three months) and I am just not ready to let go yet. Instead, I’ll focus on making the most out of every day that’s left of the program.

Today, though, I let go of *Fake-L* (Leah, you know who I’m talking bout here haha) and yeah good riddance. Haha am I bitter? Maybe. I saw him today and it just got to the point of being anti-climatic so…ciao. I think I am better off focusing my attention on other things. Like Level Up Games. Or the number 14. Haha.

Yesterday I filed my notice of resignation from my current company. Something I totally did not expect I would be doing this soon. Truth is, I did not expect it at all. But I had to make a choice and I did so…I’ll just let it go. I know I’m meant to learn something from all this somehow. Besides, I’m quite excited by the lineup so that kinda softens the letting-go-of-my-current-job ordeal.

Hmmm. What else?

I suppose letting my old blog go counts. Excess baggage. Old t-shirts. Old journals. Old art materials. Old flames.

Some things I found harder to let go than others. But I guess bottom line is you just really have to move on. Keep on walking. So that is what I will be doing.

Cel, when you get married…

Gusto ko ganito bridesmaid dress ko:

Thanks!

Hahaha.

Photo taken from Chuvaness.

Blue

I’m feeling a bit blue at the moment.

It has a lot to do with how I feel for someone. No, nothing romantic. But this guy has really grown on me and I just feel bad about the judgments he’s been getting from other people. I went to a meeting last night and, well, they’ve been referring to his performance at an event last Sunday and even though no names were mentioned, I knew they were talking about him. Hay. It’s just sad.

I suppose I’m feeling a little jaded today. A world that works with no one left behind. So why all the judgment? I’m not naive. I know better than to say that people will eventually stop judging each other. That would be stupid. Judgment will always be there. But I guess what I’m trying to say is, I think maybe they need to cut the guy some slack. He did what he felt he needed to do and that is taking responsibility for his actions. Yes, what he did was ’sablay’ but there were reasons behind why he was that way and a lot of them knew that.

Hay.

That’s all.

In the end all there is, is NOW.

I had a kilig moment with someone last night. Haha I really have no idea when exactly I started to like him but I’m just enjoying every moment of it. We’re nothing special–in fact, I bet he has no clue about how I feel WHICH IS A RELIEF because that would be totally embarrassing. Haha I feel like a school girl. (Abot tenga ngiti ko ngayon shit!)

So yesterday was quite eventful.

My supervisor called me in and told me that our boss was not amenable to me working part time for the company. It was either this or the magazine so I had to make a choice. I chose the latter because, even with the risk of it being a startup, I really really want it. I have always wanted to do writing full time–be involved in publishing and communications–and this was IT. I never would’ve thought that this would happen to me this early. I always thought I’d have to wait YEARS for me to get my dream job. And in less than a year since I declared I wanted to be a writer, I got what I wanted.

I dropped by the office yesterday to get my assignments and the editor asked me if I wanted to do the cover story for the launch issue! I had to turn it down because of all the things I need to finish in the next two weeks. LEAP is ending and I have a lot of events to go to in between AND I have to finish my book! So I’ll do the cover story on the NEXT issue instead. hehehe yey!

I’m going to be doing a feature article for this one though. I’m really excited about it. I can’t wait until I see the magazine hit the news stands. Hehehe So so excited! And I love the office. It’s so colorful.

This week, in spite of all the things piling up, I feel oddly relaxed. As in I’m not even that stressed. I’m just taking things one at a time. I don’t even mind going home late every day of the week. I know I need to make up for sleep but I don’t feel tired at all. In fact, I’m feeling quite the opposite. Maybe it’s because I actually love and enjoy what I’m doing. Haha yay!