On a roll :)

I finished my first short story! Finally after two months of working on it, I finally managed to finish it. Wheee! I had to delete a huge chunk of what I have originally written–I started using flashbacks and I decided not to at the last minute so there goes around 4 pages worth of work down the drain! But I like how it turned out in the end. Hehe I’m just having it edited by my friend before I send it to my other friend for a final edit. And THEN I’ll post it in my new writing blog–click!click!–where all my reviews are currently posted.

I’m taking a short breather before I start thinking about what my next story will be about. I’ve been asking my friends to give me words I can work around with. So far, I’ve gotten gratitude, time, now, happiness, reasons vs. excuses, and perception.

I’ve been sick on and off again the past week. I think my body’s resisting the idea of Leap ending so it’s refusing to cooperate. Hehe I really don’t want it to end! Although, it would be nice to finally have a breather every now and then. I’ve been so busy I barely have time to go out with my old friends anymore!

Tonight I’m going to Ortigas again. This time to check out TJ and Reb’s monologues. Then tomorrow it’ll finally be Leap Night. Who would have thought this day would finally come? Huhu I’m suddenly feeling sentimental. Then, Friday will be our last meeting as a council. The next day will be the third intensive and finally, Sunday graduation. After that, uncharted territories again!

I miss posting pictures. So I’ll post a couple taken from my phone (I don’t like the camera) last Sunday–some I don’t remember taking because I was, er, you know.

Vanity

Thought of the day: Some people are more afraid of aging than death.

I should really stop procrastinating. I haven’t written a word. I am so…well, not dead. Just in limbo.

I think, I just think, I might be afraid of success that I tend to be the only person getting in the way of me reaching my goals.

I’m my own Dragon Lady.

Yeow.

Anyway, speaking of turning heads, got an email from Steffi. Couldn’t resist posting.

BIRTHDAY REMEMBRANCE

This week we celebrate a special birthday: Monica Lewinsky turned 31.
Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her hands and knees, and putting everything in her mouth.

They grow up so fast, don’t they?

Writer’s Block

Why now? Why????

Haha. Time to pull off an all-nighter! Why do I feel like I’ve transported back to college again? I tried finishing my stories at the Starbucks in MOA and for a while, I was finding my rhythm. But then an hour passed and I felt that sense of restlessness again so I decided to leave and go home! But not before I bought a ton of food to eat. Ended up giving them to Ate Len because I lost my appetite. Jitters. First class jitters.

News from the outside world…hmmm. Sing’s coming home from Dubai this October! Awww I miss hanging out with her and Bing! Also got in touch with Dom, my old Amex boss. He’s planning a reunion for our crazy little team. Haha It’ll be a blast catching up with everybody! Oh, and I saw D checking out my multiply profile. Hmmm. lol

Also heard Igor’s leaving the old PR office and is relocating to Dumaguete soon. Waaah bakla, I’ll miss you! Who will be my Mark now??? Oh well, there’s always text. Good luck on the new job. I know you’ll do fabulous! We should all go out before you leave ah! Oh, and I want to set you up on a date before you go! Can I??

Cramming…again

This week’s going to be one hell of a ride. What with preparations for my LEAP graduation, finishing my writing portfolio by tomorrow, shopping for a dress to wear (actually, this one’s done already. Love the dressss!), selling tickets to the event, selling raffle coupons for the event, attending TJ’s I-Wish-I-Had-A-Vagina Monologues (hey Benjie started it, not me!) on Wednesday, writing for the Leap Newsletter, writing letters for every member of the team…how in the world I’m fitting all that in a week will be nothing short of a miracle! LOL

But truth be told, I’m just really really excited. I love being busy. And I’m busy doing things I love (most of the time anyway) so life’s just really great at the moment.

Right now, I’m looking to find my rhythm. I’m experiencing a bit of writer’s block. I’m still thinking if I ought to drop by Ortigas later to go to the upcoming Leap 34 Orientation to finally finish selling my raffle coupons. Gawd this part I dislike. I worked in sales before but I don’t miss it. I miss the people in Amex but not the selling part. I have a thing against making pacute–I know, surprising, because most of the time people say I tend to be like that. Haha. Just proves that I can be pacutesy when I need to be but I’d rather refrain from doing it.

Sort of having fever right now. I’m just sitting here in the living room watching TV, something I haven’t done in AGES, and I can’t help but feel that I should be somewhere else entirely. Like in a cafe writing. Only I’m sort of strapped for cash (hey it comes with the unemployed-yet-again territory) so I am unfortunately stuck with only Donald Duck and his three nephews for company. Why the hell am I watching Disney Channel???

I wanna watch this movie :)

New layout :)

Thanks Steffi! I swear, the moment I learn HTML, I’ll return the favor–regardless of you asking for it >:) muaha I’ll go crazy.

Anyway, I traveled all the way up north the other day to attend my friend Jason’s despedida. He left for Singapore today and will be starting work soon. I’ll miss you Jase! Why is everybody leaving but me? Haha not that I’m complaining. I’m liking Manila at the moment.

My blockmates totally got on my case about me being jobless again. Hehe I’ve always had a reputation for being the most restless in our block. Always the one cutting class (they nominated me for the “Pumapasok ka pa ba?” award for Blue Roast), always the one with that far off distracted look on her face, always the one walking around campus with seemingly no destination. I suppose in a way they’ve always found me as somewhat of a puzzle. Every time I speak my mind, I’m met with surprised looks. They’ve never really managed to fit me into a certain “type.”

They’ve seen me transform (rather, change my mind) so many times that I suppose they already expect me to not stick to something (a job, a date, a mood, whatever) once I find something more worthwhile to do. Up to a certain level, I suppose they’re right. I do tend to be fickle-minded at times. Hell, it takes me forever to even decide where I want to eat for lunch. I’d rather have someone decide for me but for some weird reason, people always end up asking me to be the one making the final decision. I’m indecisive but people think I’m the exact opposite. So…gooood luck with that.

It’s not really because I do not know what I want. Hell, I can even give you a list of 1000 things I would like to do tomorrow (one of them is winning the lottery). I guess it’s just that I want a lot of things so bad that I can’t decide which I’m going to choose first. Yeah, I suppose that’s partly it. Hehe but I’m not devoting an evening ruminating on myself again (Gawd I’ve been doing that a lot recently and I’m sick of hearing me go on and on about…me) so I will just stop now.

Anyway.

My crazy dad and crazier sister are watching a Tom Cruise flick dubbed in Japanese (at least I think it’s Japanese). It’s the one where Tom Cruise had grey hair and is a hitman so it’s supposed to be a thriller. But the way they’re watching it, you would think they were watching Deuce Bigalow, a movie I would forever be grateful for as it added two colorful words in my French vocabulary: Manwhore and He-bitch. Rather revolutionary for a comedy, don’t you think?

Speaking of foreign films, found another reason why we should avoid buying pirated DVDs. Recently bought a french film, Le Pacte des loups (Brotherhood of the Wolf), and was really looking forward to watching it. Then when I turned on the English subtitles, it was for an entirely different movie. This film’s supposed to be set way back in history. But the subtitles were obviously meant for a rather well-known futuristic thriller.

Red pill or blue pill?

Just pick one already. I’m dying with anticipation.

Aloha!

Blogging from my phone! Hehe i dont really have anything relevant to say. just wanted to check it out.

Right now I’m in Katipunan having breakfast in McDo. I’m off to Ortigas in a bit. Later I’m doing videoke with some people. Er, that’s pretty much it!

I’m freeee!

End of an era

I finally talked to my boss.

It went better than expected. I’ll be working for her on a per project basis instead. So freelance. Which is ideal because I was a bit worried about being devoid of income while I look for work again. Whew. Life is good. Right now she wants me to work on the content of the two company websites I had already began working on with DM. What’s also good is I have the option to come in at the office or work from the house or wherever. So…yipee! Definitely breathing more easily now. Hehe

What else…I have a new phone. My parents finally succeeded in convincing me to get a new one (okay, they bought it for me) and, well, it’s the girliest phone I’ve ever owned. The previous ones were either masculine, gay or simply androgynous. This one’s so, er, feminine. It’s the Nokia N76. The red one. I can even use the phone’s facade as a mirror. Suits my vanity. Haha. Anyway, here it is:

I’ve never been too particular about cellphone models but it’s nice having a phone with so many features for a change. Here’s to me not breaking it!

Rassum Frassum :D

It turns out my boss was very much aware of everything that happened in Cebu. The whole bit about her son and that wretched lowlife, everything. She called me to a meeting yesterday afternoon and just started talking about everything that happened. She apologized for her son and advised me to just ignore lowlife’s incessant text messages. Good god, life was never this complicated!

Insert Avenue Q song: I wish I could go back to college. Life was so simple back then. What would I give to go back and live in a dorm with a meal plan again? In college you know who you are. You sit in the quad and think ‘OH MY GOD, I am totally gonna go far!’

Apparently, said lowlife showed up at her house in the middle of the night to tell on me and Dons (we opened up to her about a couple of things about our lives before she turned psycho on us) and to sucker more people into feeling sorry for her pathetic little excuse for existence. I have never felt more betrayed.

Boss also told me that tomorrow (today) we’ll be drafting my contract. She told me that in light of everything that has happened, she would understand if I’m not as excited to begin really working for her. Told me to really think about it because she just wanted me to go with what would make me happy.

So we’re going to be meeting later this afternoon to talk about what I’ve decided to do.

And I’ve decided to leave.

I’ve been convincing myself to stay ever since I got back from Cebu. Been writing and then deleting and then rewriting my immediate notice. I’ve been struggling with the thought that me disengaging would mean me backing out of my commitment again, something I’ve been religiously avoiding ever since I resigned from my old PR company. I promised myself then that the next job I would be accepting will be THE job. And now here I am. And I just feel it in my gut, as in every cell in my body’s screaming “This isn’t IT Tricia!”

I’ve realized that when it comes to keeping your commitments, you also need to commit to the thing that you feel is RIGHT for you. It’s not just about keeping your word. It’s about keeping your word for the RIGHT REASONS. And, clearly (though I’ve been denying it), the reasons I had for staying here were all wrong. I wasn’t staying because I genuinely wanted to. I was staying because I needed to prove to everybody that I CAN keep my word despite everything (rather, everyone) that happened. I was staying because I wanted to show the crazy concerned people that nothing they do will EVER get in the way of me doing a great job. That they will never affect me in any way. But then my friend Alet pointed out, they clearly affected me because they were already influencing my decisions.

Every fiber of my body’s screaming “Get the hell out,” but my mind keeps rallying against leaving because of what other people might think.

Well I’ve had it with caring about what other people think. It’s time I be responsible and me being happy is one of my biggest responsibilities. Yeah yeah, I know I sound totally self-absorbed but…well, deal with it. Some people may think me flaky but it’s only because I know the difference between settling down and merely settling. I so do not plan on settling for something mediocre when I know I could do better. I’m not saying this company is mediocre, I’m saying my current situation is. Just wanted to clear that up.

And anyway, if I were honest with myself, I know I have never really gone and tried HARD to get the jobs I’ve had in the past. They just came at opportune moments. I was bumming and I needed jobs. I guess you could say I haven’t even reached for the stars yet. And, well, I’ll let Kate Monster say it for me: You gotta go after the things you want while you’re still in your prime.

Jeebus. Enough with the Avenue Q quotes!!! LOL

Anyway, there. End of another era!

My parents are going to fly in from Davao today. And they will be greeted with not one, but two unemployed daughters upon arrival! Wheee!

My mom’s going to kill me. Hehe I kid. I’m sure they’ll understand once I explain everything.

My sister’s totally going gaga about this Korean romantic comedy series called “Coffee Prince.” She’s done nothing but watch it all day. It’s kinda funny. Girl meets Boy. Boy thinks Girl is a Guy. Boy then thinks he’s Gay because he finds himself falling for Girl. Classic!

Keep you guys posted! Ciao!

I have no words